My Sons Myth (2018/10/24)

My son is writing an invented myth for his 4th grade class. It is part of a larger assignment that has dominated the first two months of the school year. He dictated this rough draft of his myth, which follows Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" story arc.

Here is the rough draft of his myth:

The Call:

Once upon a time there was a city called blorbee it had a hero named Blubeon and bad bad bad bad bad guy named Donald Trump. Aaaaaaaaaanyway once Blubeon was stopping a train from going off its tracks and someone named interrupteon started to help him. They stopped the train. Interrupteon introduced him and then asked if he could fight on Blubeon’s Side. Blubeon said, “Yes, I could always use a helping hand.”

Then one day Blubeon was hanging out at the beach and he saw Poseidon coming out of the water. Poseidon asked blubeon if he could fight by his side. blubeon said the same thing he had said before to Interrupteon, From then on, Poseidon and interrupteon helped blubeon with crime fighting. Then, one day, blubeon, interrupteon, and poseidon were in Maryland stopping some monsters from burning down a building. Then, Donald Trump took over all the big TVs on buildings in Maryland and he said, “In exactly one year, a tsunami of Uno cards will destroy this city.” Blubeon was afraid of this, because tsunamis and Uno cards were his greatest fears. But he was always courageous. So, when Hermes asked him if he could stop the tsunami, Blubeon said “Yes.”

Crossing the Threshold / Descent: What or who is guarding the threshold?

Then, one day, when the three crime fighters were at the beach and nobody else was there, Hermes whispered in Poseidon’s ear. He laid his trident down on the ground and it shot a line of sand in tothe sea. Some water immediately floated out of the sea into the air, just floating, and it formed the words “Come. A portal will appear in precisely 10 seconds.” Then, some more water came out of the ocean just floating in the air and formed a circle. Looking in the circle, they couldn’t see the horizon. Instead they saw a tree. Blubeon suggested they should go through the portal, and they came to a tree. When they touched its bark, they were immediately teleported to another world.

The new world was a cave. 10 foot wide, 10 foot tall. Completely circular. Interrupteon said it was scary but Blubeon and Poseidon agreed that they should go on.

First Trial:

They entered a chamber. They saw Hydra sleeping. Hydra is a three-headed monster. Whenever you cut off one of its heads, three to four more heads grow in the place of the cut off head. Blubleon thought maybe if they cut off all of its heads at once, Hydra would die. So poseidon struck his trident against the ground and water spouts came came out of his eyes. Both the waterspouts hit Hydra’s eyes, woke him and distracted him. Poseidon had called upon his brother Zeus to give them magical swords.

They used their magical swords to cut off all the heads at once. Interrupteon cut off the left one, Poseidon cut off the right one, and Blubeon cut off the middle one. Nothing happened. Hydra the zero-headed dragon fell to the ground, motionless-- lifeless.

After they got out of the cave, Poseidon made the cave into a realm of water. After the water sunk into the dirt, it weakened, and let the rock slide out of it. It mostly landed on Hydra, so that Hydra could not be revived and escape.

Second Trial

Poseidon said, “When Hermes whispered in my ear, he said that exits will appear when we need them.” There was a cliff. At the top was DT. Then, we wheeled in a gigantic coffee machine, but it wasn’t creating coffee, it was loading a gigantic missile with radio controlled bombs. Poseidon, Interrrupteon and Blubeon all thought the exact same thing at the exact same time. And they said, “You know what I’m thinking? “ Then they all said “Yes.” Then they all said “We have to disable that missile before it blows up this world!!”

They climbed up to the gigantic coffee machine and looked at where it was loading bombs. They decided to patch it so it wouldn’t load any more bombs in. They had to find the disable button. The countdown was at 5 minutes, They searched below the coffee machine, they searched behind, in front, on top, they searched on both sides of the coffee machine and then all of them realized that the button had to be on the missle. So they looked everywhere on the missile-- in the tail, even the tail, except for the front. They checked everywhere for the disable button except for the front. They checked and it wasn’t there.

Then, Poseidon had a brilliant idea. He made a flood of water on the cliff. It ran down all the way to the cave that Hydra had died in. It washed away all the dirt, and the disable button was on a metal plate revealed behind the coffee machine bolted into the ground. The countdown was at 2 seconds. They all rushed. They all pressed the button at once. The rocket started firing up and then it stopped. Apparently, it was a pause button. They figured it out by pointing the rocket toward a nearby portal that led to a different unknown world that was not the next test or trial or earth. They pressed the button again, the rocket blew away from the coffee machine and it exploded in the different world.

Third Trial

Fire tornado

Poseidon and Interrupteon and Blubeon from the coffee machine they saw the exit portal and went through it. They were on planet Frozo which was a planet completely made out of ice. There was a fire tornado steaming it all up. It smelled like smoke and steam. Poseidon got near the fire tornado, took a ball of ice, melted it into water, and laid it into the fire tornado to stop the fire. Now it was just a regular tornado, and it was windy. Then they blew in the other direction as hard as they could with giant fans, but the tornado was still a tiny bit destructive but it was shrinking and poseidon made a ball of water with his trident, put it next to the little tornado, and left Blubeon and Interrupteon to take care of it. Poseidon went through a different portal that leads to Earth. Blubeon and Interrupteon both rolled the little ball of water towards the tornado. It touched the tornado and the tornado was extinguished. But in that moment, an ice monster burst out of the wall and started to use its ice breath to refreeze things from the fire tornado’s unfreezing. Blubeon and Int. realized that the ice monster was just building its home and so they left, went through the portal after Poseidon, and found Poseidon on Earth, they got together and celebrated.

The Abyss

10 months later, the tsunami of Uno cards still threatened the city. Donald Trump put a chip into his control board and a laser beam and a hologram of a tsunami of Uno cards appeared about a mile away from the city. The laser beam lasered the hologram and turned it into an actual tsunami of Uno cards. Then the laser beam had mechanical legs on it so it started lasering the city. It was smokey, the laser beam caught everything it touched on fire, or froze it, or flooded it, or covered it in lava. It walked toward the city and started lasering it, and knocking it down, and putting on fire, and lava-ing it, and watering it. The people were terrified and scared. They thought DT’s weapon was impenetrable (or something). They ran away from the city and screamed. Blubleon, Inter., and Poseidon stayed to fight for the city and the people’s lives. And justice. And Peace. And Whatever-it-is that they should, and could fight for. Whatever it is.

First, Poseidon made a cage of water around the laser but the laser cut a hole in the water and it started walking around lasering everything where it could again. Next, Blubeon and Poseidon used their magical swords that they got from Zeus and used to defeat Hydra. The swords were shiny so they pointed them as a mirror back to the laser beam when the beam was about to get them and they cut the walking laser beam into six pieces so it couldn’t laser anything anymore.

Now they had a tsunami to take care of. The tsunami was a quarter mile away from the city. Blubeon started walking toward the Tsunami and told Inter. And Poseidon to find DT and get him to stop the tsunami. Blubeon started by using his magical swaord, just as poseidon’s trident, to change the tsunami of Uno cards into a real tsunami of water with Uno cards mixed in. The Uno cards began to get soggy and sank to the ground. Blubeon swam into the tsunami and tried to start surfing on top of it and make it fall down into a giant spurt of water that’s not dangerous. Instead, he was underwater for too long, lost his breath, and died.

(Change Perspective to DT and Interrupteon and Poseidon)

Meanwhile, Poseidon and Interrupteon had already tied Donald Trump to his president’s chair, and were trying to find the data port that made the tsunami hologram. They looked all over DT’s control panel and DT remembered that his chair was electronic, so he made the chair put out its mechanical hands and untie him. DT, free, gave Pos and Inter. A little time out in the chair. And he said, “It’s time to end this battle.”

Now we enter Blubeon’s mind. In the land of the dead, Blubeon was thinking. He went up to heaven and visiting Zeus on Mt. Olympus. And asked him, “Zeus, the king of the gods, the god of lightning and thunder: I humbly ask you to grant me access to the Earth. I have a tsunami to stop, and if I do not stop it, my hometown will be destroyed.”

Zeus, even though Blubeon could not see him, said, “Why of course!”

Then Blubeon woke up. He woke up as the God of the Earth. He flew down and opened a crack in the Earth and let the tsunami sink into it and be absorbed by the Earth. The crack ran right down the middle of DT’s headquarters of evilness. And DT fell into the crack, because he was standing exactly in the middle of his HQ. Pose and Interr. Figured out how to use the chair, made the chair untie them, and while Blubeon sealed the crack in the Earth, trapping DT and the tsunami, when . Right after Blubeon woke up from his faint. They found Blubeon. Poseidon said, “This is a day’s work done. Let’s get some rest.”

Return:

Blubeon made a short-cut cave in the Earth so that they could get to the beach directly. He is the God of the Earth, so he can do anything he wants with the Earth. (Pretty Obvious, huh folks!)

They came to the beach. Everybody goes back to the beach, and everybody is peaceful for the rest of their lives. The beach was beautiful. It had a little hiking mountain next to it. It was long. It had lots of flat rocks to sit on. Blubeon and Poseidon and Interrupteon. Poseidon swam. Interrupteon was sun-basking. Blubeon was flying one mile above them, Blubeon was making a floating island for them to live on.

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